In August, I went to the wedding of an exclusive buyer’s broker from Long Island, NY. A good time was had by all. There are some things that made this wedding different from the typical wedding that I would attend.

Well, actually, the wedding looked like most weddings. People all dressed up, some vows, some kissing, some food, some dancing. But the pre-party on Friday night was full of buyer’s brokers and their spouses. The out-of-towners came from Washington DC, Savannah, Chicago, and Massachusetts.

You can take the buyer’s broker out of the house, but you can’t take the house-nerd out of the buyer’s broker.

1. “What are those buildings?”

We had a barbeque near a local dock, then we went out for a sunset boat ride. Our boat’s captain was a traditional real estate agent who is a friend of the groom’s. The bride is the exclusive buyer’s agent.

As we approached the dock, I noticed a block of residences across the water. They looked new. I asked about them. “Are those condos or rental apartments?” He told me the history of the building: it started out as condos, then switched to rental apartments. (This has happened in Cambridge, too. There were some buildings built for the condo market which didn’t sell well enough; they became rentals. )

A few minutes later, the captain got asked the same question by another party guest (and buyer’s broker) who noticed the building.

2. The scenery

The boat motored out into the bay. There was a cliff with houses to our west. Were we looking at the water? Maybe some. The sunset? For a few minutes. But what were we talking about? “OMG, that person owns 4 acres at the point!” “That house must have fifty steps up the cliff. How do they maintain that?”

Then the host started to tell us about the $3M retaining wall that one homeowner built after Hurricane Ida in 2021. She also showed us the house that was totaled during that storm.

I thought this was not unusual until my husband – a real estate civilian – pointed it out to me.

How do exclusive buyer’s brokers know one another?

Exclusive buyer’s brokerage came to residential consumers in the 1990’s. We were a small number of brokers who were willing to forego the listing business  to concentrate on the needs of buyers. Generally, the listing business is more lucrative. So, we all have our individual reasons for choosing to work only with buyers.

Since the mid-two-thousands, real estate agents can call themselves “buyer’s agents” even if they work in a company that also lists properties for sale (and advises sellers about how to get the top price). Some of these buyer’s agents, individually, work only with buyers. However, their company may have a vested interest in a property because someone else there represents the seller.

Before the mid-two-thousands, if a buyer’s agent worked in the same company that the seller hired, that agent would need to become a facilitator, and give no advice about price and terms. After the mid-two-thousands, they could continue to advise their buyer client.

When agents who prefer working with buyers were able to practice in companies who also list properties, the number of companies that never list properties for sale shrunk quickly. Therefore, the companies that hold to the low-conflict-of-interest model of only working for buyers are few and far between.

Therefore, we stick together.

Many of us belong to the National Association of Exclusive Buyer’s Agents (NAEBA). We develop and share strategies for helping buyers succeed when the market changes. We meet on line and at conventions. We get to like one another. I met the bride in 2020 at the NAEBA convention in Phoenix. We struck up a friendship, and there I was, dancing at her wedding and talking about houses instead of the beauty of the harbor.